The Brit Awards

Its awards time again. Oscars, Baftas, Grammys and of course, Brits. For two decades now, the Brits has been one of the events of the pop calendar here in the UK, known as much for its industry backslapping as its rock and roll antics. Who could forget Jarvis Cocker’s hilariously unplanned appearance during Michael Jackson’s set in 1996? Or the excruitating pairing of presenters Sam Fox and Mike Fleetwood?

In truth, we only remember these examples because since 1996, nothing really exciting has actually happened. Sure, a few awards are handed about, and no doubt the Arctic Monkeys or Coldplay will feature in some capacity, but what made the Brits really fun was the capacity for silly drunken antics of the sort that embarrasses music industry executives and makes the front pages of your morning Metro.

So it was with a slight air of disappointment that this year’s awards passed without incident. In fact, not only were they were so completely bland and predictable that they have become instantly forgettable, their credibility was finally stretched to breaking point. The pairing of Matthew Horne and James Cordon (from “Gavin and Stacey”) was a shocker and their pitiful attempts at unscripted humour served only to embarrass co-presenter Kylie Minogue or undermine those presenting awards who mostly seemed to be playing it straight. The performances varied from the sublime to the ridiculous. Where Take That succeeded in spectacle, flying in on a giant spaceship, they failed musically with appallingly obvious miming, despite a great song. Where Duffy succeeded in hitting the high notes, with expert phrasing and a “bang on in tune” melody, she only served to remind us that, for all intents and purposes, she is a Dusty Springfield tribute act, a sub-Winehouse pastiche, and not really deserving of 3 separate awards. I think “best breakthrough act” would have seen her right.

Coldplay confounded the critics by delivering their best song for ages with ridiculous posturing from Chris Martin who needs to learn when to stand still and just sing. Coldplay, the band everybody loves to hate, not really helping themselves there. The less said about Lady GaGa the better, she really needs to f*ck off, and what the hell was she wearing. Quite liked the Pet Shop Boys though, although whether they deserve a special award for having a few decent songs in the charts twenty years ago is another matter.

Thank god, then, for Elbow. Predicable it may have been following their triumph at the Mercury’s, at least a band with real talent, commitment and an awesome back catalogue won through. Also, Iron Maiden winning the best live show award was cool and totally deserved. Good to see British Metal being represented, finally. How many other of these artists can tour the world in a jet aircraft and fill stadiums at the drop of a hat? None. Yet the cynic in me (which is working overtime right now) thinks: “what the hell do these bands have to do to get a regular look in?” Glad to see the Kings of Leon getting involved, another good band, I prefer them with beards.

And then we come to my personal favourites, The Ting Tings, who, quite rightly, won nothing, and who shouted their way through another tedious performance. Sorry but they are really getting on my nerves at the moment. Finally, claws out once again to Girls Aloud who demonstrated that they may have a few good electro songs, pretty faces and great outfits, but will always be a sub-Spice Girls knock off. Still, the gays seem to like them. I’m afraid I missed the new U2 song, so I can’t comment on that.

So another year, and yet more hype. I predict a big year for electronic pop this year, but then, I would do, wouldn’t I!

PS. We have now concluded negotiations with Substream records and things should get moving very soon. Stay tuned.

Ben